It seems gratuitous to point out the worst aspects of music in what has been a dumpster fire of a year, but traditions are traditions, and perhaps talking about these albums will be a cleansing experience, letting us start 2021 with some optimism that we are on our way towards a better future. That might be a bit excessive, but I need to come up with some explanation for why I chose to spend the time writing negatively about these albums. Metaphorically, this is me putting the last nail in the coffins, removing any reason for me to ever think of these again once the dirt has been packed atop them.
Let's see what 2020 gave us.
The Bad:
1. Poppy - I Disagree
The worst record of the year was this effort from Poppy that earned a fair amount of critical acclaim. Many people thought it was a daring mix of bubblegum pop and crushing metal, whereas I saw it as a Frankenstein's monster made of half rotted pieces. There was no logic behind why the pop and metal were fused together, or how the swing from one to the other was carried out. It was the height of pretentious art snobbery, wherein the people responsible think being subversive is art in and of itself. It isn't, as the result still needs to succeed as art for the message to come through. This record was unlistenable, so unless the point was laughing at the gullible fans, it was an utter failure.
2. Witchcraft - Black Metal
This was billed as Witchcraft's "acoustic album", which deeply angered me. I mostly play acoustic guitar, and I found it insulting that the band and label wrote this off as an acoustic effort, as if that was the explanation for why it sounded as it did. Acoustic guitars do not create boring, tuneless, utterly inept songs. Acoustic guitars do not mean you have to write lifeless music that shows no skill, talent, or ability to know when your own material is awful. To blame this on the instruments is pathetic, but the actual music here is even worse than that. This album proves a good song is a good song, and too many rock bands get away with distortion and nothing else. There isn't a good song to be found here.
3. Six Feet Under - Nightmares Of The Decomposed
I listened to this just to get a laugh, and I was disappointed. Six Feet Under have gone from laughably bad to truly sad. It's sad to listen to fifty year-olds think they're cool and dangerous. It's sad to listen to Chris Barnes' voice deteriorate with every record. It's sad to know many people still went out and bought this record, when almost anything else released this year would have been a better use of that money. Six Feet Under is as bad as death metal gets, and now they can't even amuse us. The only nightmare was thinking I might have to give this record another listen.
4. Green Day - Father Of All...
Speaking of insults, we have this 'record' from Green Day, which is reportedly a half-assed attempt intended simply to get them out of their recording contract. I believe that, since it sounds like an album with no effort put into it. Everything about this record, from the songs, to the title, to the artwork, is lazy. After the trilogy of albums, this now makes four of their last five records that have gone through no quality control, and have been the worst of their long career. When a band is in a creative black hole, and they aren't even giving the appearance of trying, I'm not sure why any of us are supposed to respect them.
5. UDO - We Are One
This makes the list not so much because of the quality of the music, which is still below average, but because of a particular decision; to put Udo's croaking voice in front of a military band. Udo is a horrible singer, and has always been, but at least a metal band gave him some cover. With this more traditional sound, the absurdity of his voice is put on full display, and we get one of those experiences where you could accurately describe it as a Muppet singing for a band. It's a staggeringly weird, and painful, album.
The Disappointing:
1. Neal Morse - Sola Gratia
I came to realize even before this record came out that Neal and I have grown apart. I haven't found any of his recent albums as interesting as his best period, so I was trying to hold back my expectations for this one. That being said, I still wasn't ready for just how painfully boring I found this record. All of Neal's trademark pop songwriting is gone, his prog tropes sound more recycled than ever, and then there's the real problem. Like "Sola Scriptura" before it, this prequel comes far too close to sounding anti-Catholic for a devout Christian to have written. It was off-putting from the start, and never won me over.
2. Sons Of Apollo - MMXX
With album number two, Sons Of Apollo got more generic than before, leaning into the prog side of their identity that doesn't bring strong songwriting with it. The best song here sounds like their first album, which was good, but also featured two songs with almost identical melodies. All of that sounds like what Sons Of Apollo are; a band of immensely talented players who aren't great songwriters. Since a big part of being in a band is writing songs to play, that's just a little bit of a problem, wouldn't you say?
3. Elvis Costello - Hey Clockface
Since I discovered Elvis Costello's music sometime around 2000, he's only made one traditionally Elvis Costello record. His experimentation is frustrating, as he puts to record all sorts of things that just don't work. Count this among them, as Elvis takes full control of his sound to make a record in the spirit of "When I Was Cruel", but with an extra twenty years of being behind the times. It's lo-fi, messy, and absent of all that once made Elvis great. This record sounds like a man trying to recapture his youth, and that's one of the saddest sounds of all.
4. Demons & Wizards - III
The first Demons & Wizards album is a classic of power metal. Even someone who doesn't care for Blind Guardian, such as myself, can appreciate that record (and the awesome cover of Cream's "White Room" they did). The second was lesser, but interesting. This record is neither. For whatever reason, they decide to slow things down, muddy the production, and try to be AC/DC at times. Not only is it a dull record, but it doesn't even sound like Demons & Wizards. It sounds more like Jon and Hansi's classic rock wish list, and that's not anything I want to hear.
5. Serious Black - Suite 226
It's official; "Mirrorworld" was a fluke. With their fourth album, Serious Black gives us their third effort of more generic power metal, as compared to the aforementioned harder rocking effort. Despite the decades of experience in the band, they play things safe, and without the big hooks the music needs. Even when you don't expect much, it's disappointing to hear such boredom coming from people who have made music you love before.
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