Something Personal: My Song "Black Velvet" (Featuring Misha Bear)

We often say music is a personal experience, because no one else can ever hear things the same way we do, or put music into the context of life in the same way. Our relationship with a band/album/song is something uniquely our own, and trying to put that into words is not always possible. In fact, sometimes trying to explain the way feelings work makes me wonder if our language can cover even a fraction of the human experience, despite the vastness of our dictionary.

That truth goes even further for musicians. When we write songs and put them out into the world, we can talk about what they mean to us, or what we felt when we were writing and performing them, but there aren't words to fully convey the depths of the connections we have with our own work, both for good and bad.

Speaking only for myself, writing and making music has been one of the few joys of my life, but also a source of great disappointment and quasi-depression. While pulling songs from the ethos has revealed sides of myself I didn't know were there, and allows me to say things I probably couldn't put into words through a normal conversation, hearing those songs held back by my lack of vocal talent has been anything but a gift.

There has existed in my mind all this time a contradiction where I have been immensely proud of the songs I've written as I heard them in my head, and somewhat ashamed to share any of them as I heard them in reality. It does a number on your confidence, or lack thereof, to spend decades wondering, "What if?"

For the last year, I have been looking for a singer to work with who can do what I cannot with my songs. That search has led to some interesting new people, and a few quite interesting experiences. Among them, I was told by a musician that my chord progression was 'wrong', and that my song couldn't be done the way I did it. This, of course, despite the fact I obviously recorded it the way I did, and plenty of people have praised it as a good song. The most interesting experience was one person who completely re-wrote my song into a spiritual ballad, because one word in the lyric gave them an impression of the meaning that couldn't be further from the truth.

But it hadn't led to what I was hoping for... until now.

Today, I'm happy to share the biggest success I've had as a musician yet. I recently met Misha Bear, an Australian singer/songwriter who was kind enough to give that song of mine the breath of life. Years of frustration now seem worth it, because this recording is the closest thing yet to what I've heard in my head all this time. Pride once felt like I was trying to manifest something that didn't exist, but now I can say with certainty that pride is indeed real, and is warranted.

"Black Velvet" is a simple song, but one I feel displays some of my influences. Written around Elvis Costello-ish puns, it's a song of exasperation, talking about the feeling when you look back and realize the dreams you had of who you were going to be couldn't be further from reality. Sometimes, you want to have those old dreams play back in your mind, so you can remember what it was like to have hope for the future. Maybe the best way to deal with disappointment is with a bit of humor, even if it will go over the head of many people.

At least for this one moment, the future feels inviting.

Here is the definitive version of "Black Velvet", featuring the wonderful vocals of Misha Bear.

You can find more of Misha Bear's music, including her new single, "Keep On Sailing", here.

Comparing The Hits: Elton John vs Billy Joel

There's no shame in discovering artists through their radio hits without feeling much of a need to ever dive deeper than that. Some people will call you a 'casual' fan for it, but what's wrong with that? We don't always need to be a die-hard fan of every single thing we listen to. Sometimes, there's a good reason why the singles are the singles.

That isn't entirely true of this comparison, as I do own and enjoy a few Elton John albums, but they are his later work from a period the casual fans probably don't know even exists. When it comes to the 'classic' period, that is where I am indeed a casual fan. I know the hits, I enjoy them, but I don't feel as much need to listen to the deep cuts of his most glam period. I like what I like, and I'm fine with that.

When it comes to Billy Joel, I feel like I am also a bit of a contrarian, as I am young enough to not have as much of a relationship with his earlier works. For me, the songs that have always been part of my life are his 80s and 90s output, which might put me in the minority here.

Regardless, these are two artists with a lengthy list of hits that form two of my favorite compilations I regularly go back to. For most of my life, these songs have been in the forefront of my mind, but I've never sat down to ask which roster is the one I would rank ever so slightly higher. That's what we're going to do today.

First, let's list the highlights of each man's career.

Elton John:

Tiny Dancer
Rocket Man
Love Lies Bleeding
Goodbye Yellow Brick Road
Candle In The Wind
I Guess That's Why They Call It The Blues
Don't Let The Sun Go Down On Me
Sad Songs Say So Much

Billy Joel:

A Matter Of Trust
Don't Ask Me Why
For The Longest Time
I Go To Extremes
It's Still Rock N Roll To Me
Only The Good Die Young
Tell Her About It
This Is The Time
Uptown Girl

There are more, but we'll use these for our comparison. At the very top, I would put Elton's absolute best above anything Billy did. "Tiny Dancer" is my favorite of the classic era, but "I Guess That's Why They Call It The Blues" might be my favorite of all his songs. At his best, Elton was as good a pop songwriter as there has ever been. And combined with Bernie Taupin's lyrics, there are plenty of moments that rise above the schmaltz that undercuts a lot of this.

Billy's catalog has more depth. In addition to the songs I mentioned, there are another half dozen favorites that don't dip far on the quality scale. Despite veering wildly and trying out a host of styles, they are consistently great singles. One can argue, rightly so I would porbably say, they succeed because albums full of experimenting are likely to hit on one winner each time. He was just very adept at putting the right ones out as singles.

Elton's hits are classier, and lean a bit more on ballads, while Billy's hits are a more varied array of pop ideas. Of note, Billy's lyrics in most of these hits are certainly a bit lacking. His appeal was as a working class guy, but there is language in many of these songs that is stilted and awkward. In particular, I would say the lyrics to "It's Still Rock N Roll To Me" are painful in spots. The references to fashion of the time are so dated they never even became retro. I dare say you can't listen to that song without feeling powerful boomer energy turning your hair grey.

But I also want to mention the lowest moments. Elton John somehow had a hit with "Crocodile Rock", which I find annoying to the extreme. The high-pitched backing vocals grate on my nerves, which at least distracts me from how stupid the song's title is. Billy Joel has his own flaming garbage fire in the form of "We Didn't Start The Fire". It's one of those songs that sounds like a clever idea, until you actually hear it. Roundly criticized as having the worst lyrics in pop music history, that is hard to argue, and the strophic repetitiveness of the song doesn't help matters.

The question boils down to whether I prefer the classier ballads of Elton John, or the dweeby rock of Billy Joel.

Ultimately, I have to give this one to Billy. I'm enough of a dweeb to still see some self-loathing charm to his attitude, and there are simply more hits in his catalog to make up for the cringe-worthy moments. Plus, since I have those Elton albums from later on I love so much, I don't feel like I'm missing out as much if I leave his hits behind. For Billy, they're all I care about.

In the battle between Elton John and Billy Joel, the hit-maker for me is the piano man. Barely.

Album Review: Karnataka - Requiem For A Dream

Sometimes, it feels like a reflexive answer that so many people say the best song on any given album is the longest one. I'm not sure exactly why, but there is a degree to which many people feel longer songs must be more 'artistic', or that simply being long is a hallmark of quality. That can be the case, but long songs can also be the albatross that drags down an otherwise brilliant album.

That is what happened with Karnataka's previous record, "Secrets Of Angels". That album was perhaps the best blend of rock, symphonic elements, and pop melodies, I've ever heard. The first seven tracks on that one are damn near perfect, and catapulted the record near the top of my year-end list. The problem, though, was the record ended with a twenty-plus minute title track, and that is where the problems started.

All of those glorious melodies and irresistible hooks vanished, as the 'prog' of the song took over, and the song got lost in its desire to be something more. Luckily, it was placed at the end to make it easier to skip, but having such a large chunk of the album be a disappointment does have a profound impact on the resulting score.

And Karnataka has done the exact same thing again.

This album follows the same structure, with (relatively) shorter songs establishing their blend of symphonic prog/pop being unchanged by the addition of a new singer, then concluding with a twenty-five minute song that doesn't have any of the melodic trademarks of what the rest of the album has to offer. To sit through the length of the title track is a chore, as there are few (if any) hooks to serve as periodic reminders that we indeed want to be listening to this thing. I really don't, and it's working into my theory that prog and I no longer even agree on what reality is.

Fortunately, there is almost an hour of music that comes before the epic, and that music is pretty darn good. It is proggier than "Secrets Of Angels" was, and I don't think it has either power or beauty at the same level, but it's not far off. Sertari does an excellent job, with her vocals able to switch from almost rock power to that crystalline classical lilt. Her versatility might explain the more expansive tone of the album.

My issues here are two-fold. One I've already explained, and the other is that the album is structured too similarly to "Secrets Of Angels". They both put the epic in the same place, and both work into it with a song ending on overlapping vocals that borrow some of the same melodic phrasing. This album continually makes me think about the previous one, and that's not what it should be doing, because all told I like "Secrets Of Angels" more. The more direct and powerful songwriting hit harder, and has endured. I found myself getting tired of this album far faster, as even when the melodies were good, they had more ambient and repetitive connective tissue to get through before they came around. The added length in the songs didn't enhance the songs. When "Forgiven" spent as much time as it did repeating the latin phrasings, or when "All Around The World" moved into a spoken word section, neither was able to hold my attention for long.

This is an album that I would sound much more positive about if it wasn't for the last one. There's still plenty to like on this album, but it also happens to be a bit disappointing when I compare it to the first time I heard Karnataka. I wouldn't be honest if I didn't say that. I enjoyed the first hour of "Requiem For A Dream", but it isn't "Secrets Of Angels". Sorry.

Ranking The Songs: Rainbow -"Rising"

Rainbow's "Rising" is often cited as one of the greatest rock albums of all time. It's easy to see why, since it was the moment that cemented Ronnie James Dio as the vocal powerhouse he was, but also because it's such a short album there wasn't room for much in the way of filler. Or at least that's what we're led to believe. My opinion of the record has been documented before, but I will reiterate; I'm one of the few people that prefers the follow-up, "Long Live Rock 'N' Roll".

That album isn't as celebrated, or as legendary, so instead we're going to look at the six songs that make up "Rising", and rank them.

6. A Light In The Black

Let's start out with a bit of controversy. This song gets plenty of praise, and I'm not entirely sure why. With its eight-minute running time, it's a successor to "Stargazer", but it lacks everything that makes a song so epic and legendary. Placing it after the song that takes our breath away hampers it to begin with, but then it doesn't have the same sense of drama or scope. The melodies aren't as towering, and the solo section drags on for far too long. It's a song that really shouldn't be that long, and the placement in the track listing means it has to be twice as good to get half the credit. It isn't, so it's the song I'm most disappointed in.

5. Do You Close Your Eyes

If ever there was a disposable track, this would be it. Dio did have a penchant for throwing in a pop fluffer once in a while, and Blackmore would go on to court the mainstream, and this song is an embodiment of both. It's harmless, but also the only song of this batch that feels like it has no weight to it at all. "Rising" is barely a full-length album as it is, and I have to think this song might have been included just to get to that point.

4. Starstruck

You could argue this song is also going for a slightly more pop direction, but there's something about the speed Dio delivers that chorus that sets it apart. The more you hear it, the more it start to embed itself in your head. Eventually, even though the song is not a lyrical dynamo, it finds a charm that lets you forgive it not being Dio's best work.

3. Run With The Wolf

Now we get into the meat of the record. Rainbow took a big step forward with this record, and it shows here. There's a heavy groove to their best songs that wasn't as present before, and wasn't there afterward either, if I'm being honest. Songs like this one set the stage for what Dio would go on to be, and the (relatively) youthful energy in his voice carries this one to a higher level.

2. Tarot Woman

On most records, this would be the pinnacle. "Tarot Woman" tells us right from the start what Rainbow had evolved into, with the pounding drums, pulsating riff, and massive Dio vocal. There was something a bit mystical to both Dio and Blackmore, and they play that up on this track, leaning into the magical churn of the music. This is the sound of Rainbow coalescing.

1. Stargazer

I can be a contrarian, but not here. There is a reason "Stargazer" is one of the defining songs of classic rock, and I can't deny that. Few songs have ever sounded so epic, so bombastic, and had the firepower to back it up. The addition of the strings adds layers of depth and power, but the song is entirely driven by Dio belting like he never did before or after. It's a tour-de-force of vocal power, definitely the best thing Blackmore ever did, and quite possibly still the defining moment of Dio's illustrious career. It is Rainbow, full stop.

Singles Roundup: Baroness, Soen, Spanish Love Songs, & John Popper

We have quite the eclectic group of songs today.

Baroness - Beneath The Rose

I was going to sweat off Baroness, but my take on the first single from their upcoming record was met by someone with questions of whether we even heard the same song. For the sake of the experiment, I gave this second single a listen as well. I stand by what I said the first time. There was a very brief window where I was interested in Baroness, but that is a time I can't understand anymore. This song is rather tuneless, but even with the more 'cleaned up' production, the music still sounds awful. The dirty tones and muffled sounds are deeply unpleasant, and if there was something to this song that stood out melodically, I still wouldn't want to sit through these sounds in order to hear it. At least they add to the trend of the best album art usually being on music I hate.

Soen - Memorial

There isn't too much to say about Soen at this point. They have been as good as any metal band since "Lykaia" came out, and now the second song from their upcoming album shows no signs of slowing down. They take their trademark sound, and with each album they keep trimming away a little bit more fat, leaving more room for what's left to sound even bigger. This is crushing, dynamic, and strongly melodic as well. It's a hard combination to pull off, but even if many will complain Soen is going too mainstream, I think they are doing this sound far better than any of the traditional big names who rule radio rock. I'll take this over that generic stuff anytime.

Spanish Love Songs - Pendulum

I'm rather confused by everything this band is doing. "Brace Faces Everyone" was so good, and garnered so much praise, it seems like such a bad idea to keep putting out songs that sound like a completely different band. First it was 80s synths, and now it's quiet quasi-folk. I don't think the vocal tone works at all with this softer music, and without the power and volume pushing the songs forward, the misery is hard to escape. If ever there was a one-album-wonder for me, it might just be this band. I'm rather worried.

John Popper & Jono Manson - Cover My Hands

It's been a long time since John Popper put anything out beyond the scope of Blues Traveler, and since that band is now more interested in doing covers, maybe this shouldn't have been so much of a surprise. I had no idea something like this was coming, and I'm not sure this song tells me enough to have an opinion one way or another. It's always nice to hear something new, but it's also too close to a basic blues for my liking. Despite the band's name, it was always Popper's non-blues influences that appealed the most to me. If this song is an indication of what the record is supposed to be, I might have to keep myself from getting my hopes up.

Quick Reviews: Robledo & Voyager

Does melodic rock have anything to offer us today? Let's see...

Robledo - Broken Soul

Oh joy, yet another album featuring James Robledo. This marks his second solo album in short order, plus his album with Demons Down earlier this year, all before the actual band he came onto the scene with makes a second record. As I've said many, many times, I'm rather tired of the over-saturation this label creates for all of their young musicians. Robledo is a fine singer, and this record is also pretty good, but it's just too much of the same damn thing.

This record, though, is definitely better than the Demons Down record from earlier in the year. This one comes from the reliable hands of the songwriting factory, which at least ensures a degree of quality, even if it means you'll swear you've heard this record many times before. The difference between this, and a group like Sunstorm right now, is minimal at best. They're practically identical, but it does highlight the difference a voice can make. Despite the songs being the same, Robledo sounds far more natural and comfortable singing this material than Ronnie Romero does.

We all know the issues records like this have, since I've gone on about them ad nauseum. It's played out, too close to his other releases, and yada yada yada. That said, it's a solid album with decent songs and really good vocals, so the complaints are only worth so much. I'd like something a bit more unique, but this is still worth giving a listen.

Voyager - Fearless In Love

When I first heard of this band, they were presented as a melodic prog band. To be fair, I never really heard much actual 'prog' to their sound, but that still doesn't prepare us for what this album has to offer. Somewhere along the way, the band decided to go all-in on electronic pop. I'm blaming their appearance in Eurovision, which might have convinced them they had a chance of breaking through into the mainstream. I would have advised them against that idea.

This album is one of those whose appeal is completely lost on me. There are still enough down-tuned riffs that pop fans aren't going to want to listen to this, and also far too much electronic influence for the rock fans to be happy. It doesn't even do pop well, as the vocal lines are all extremely flat and uninteresting. It's straddling three different lines at the same time, but that just means the band doesn't have solid footing anywhere.

I know what Voyager was going for here, but they're far off the mark. The Night Flight Orchestra showed there's at least some appetite for glitzy pop rock, but the difference between the two groups is night and day. Voyager either isn't comfortable in the pop realm they're jumping into, or they've never listened to enough pop music to have absorbed what makes great pop music work. Either way, this record is a bit of a stylistic mess.

Words Matter

Maybe this is all simply a result of me spending too much time thinking about music. I've been listening intently for two-thirds of my life, I've been writing about it for a decade, and I've always been a contemplative person. So as I am thinking about the various ways that we conect to music, and it impacts us as people, I find myself sometimes saying things that don't seem to mesh with the experiences that people of other dispositions. In some cases, I can easily see how they come to the conclusions they do, even if they are radically different than mine. For example, while I am not a fan in the least of music that is primarily rhythmic, I can understand that other people are wired in such a way that rhythm is their primary focus. No problem.

Then there are cases where, on a philosophical level, I simply don't see two sides of an argument. I have found myself in those situations before, especially when I pan certain records for what I say are  objectively bad vocals, because the delivery is so slurred the lyrics are indecipherable. That is also an issue that arises from the majority of harsh vocalists, as almost all the growlers and screamers I encounter are nearly impossible to understand.

This led me to asking a simple question. Or what I thought was a simple question: If the listener can't understand the lyrics, what's the point of them?

I am a writer, and a poet, and I have talked before about my affection for language. Whether it's expressing a deep truth about the human condition, or simply putting together a beautiful image, words are profoundly important to me. That can be hard to square with listening to hard rock and heavy metal, which are genres not known for their literary prowess, but that isn't the point at hand right now. I am having a schism in my mind trying to understand how bands can intentionally put out records where their lyrics are a mystery to the audience, unless they sit down with the booklet (provided they bother printing them) and read along.

There are two concerns; 1)Is a vocalist who doesn't convey the lyrics failing in his/her job? and 2)Why write lyrics if they are going to go unheard?

Let's tackle them in order.

I have said about a handful of singers, and will also say about most harsh vocalists, that they are objectively failures at their role as musicians if they sing in such a way that we can't understand the lyrics. I realize this is a *pun not intended* harsh assessment, but it's one I firmly believe. A song is not just a few instruments and a voice running through strings of notes. A good song has meaning, it has something to say about the author, about us, about the world. So if a song is trying to say something, and that something is lost because the lyrics can't be heard, the singer has done their own art a disservice.

This works across media. When the trailer for "The Dark Knight Rises" premiered, viewers immediately complained they couldn't hear a word that Bane was saying. The producers immediately went back and cleaned up the audio as best they could, because they knew the audience needs to know what is going on. They didn't fold their arms and tell us to get lost, because that was the 'art' the actor picked. They didn't tell us we could just read the script to get the point. No, they realized a mistake, corrected it, and the end result was better for it. Singers are not actors, but in a sense they serve the same purpose. Their voices are used to project the message of the author to the audience. Anything that stands in the way of that happening is reducing the effectiveness of the art.

Which leads me to the second concern. If we have this great number of vocalists who give us unintelligible lyrics, why do they bother writing them in the first place? I have heard many people tell me over the years that they don't care about lyrics, and the voice is merely another instrument, especially in extreme metal. Ok, if that's reality, there should be no need for those singers to spend the time writing lyrics at all. The very fact that the time is spent writing lyrics proves to me these artists think the words are important to their work. Otherwise, they are telling us they enjoy wasting their time, which I doubt.

But this brings us to the point that frustrates me the most. If the artists consider the lyrics important enough to write, and they still don't make sure they present them to us in a way we can hear them, what does that say about them? If I'm being honest, my initial reaction to that question is to say they are being lazy. Depending on your voice, and your delivery, it can take a lot of work to sing with proper diction. But something being hard is not an excuse for not doing it. Whatever kind of vocals we're talking about, they can be performed clearly. One of my favorite records is Dan Swano's "Moontower", where he growls 90% of the vocals, yet every word he delivers is perfectly intelligible. And it's the clarity of his delivery, and the contrast between the humanity of his words and the savagery of his delivery, that makes it heavier than any of the more guttural vocals that can't be understood.

I will concede that I am probably more anal about this than most will ever be. I understand that. Not everyone is going to come at things from the same perspective I do, with the mindset of a writer. That's fine. What I fail to understand, even as people try to explain their views to me, is why they allow artists to give them a product that is inferior to what it could be. Even if the words don't matter to you, personally, shouldn't it still matter that the bands you listen to aren't putting in the effort to make the best record they can? Myself, I find that attitude from them to be a bit insulting.

It was insulting when Baroness released both "Purple" and "Gold & Grey", two albums with audible clipping and distortion that no recording school would give a passing grade. It was insulting when Metallica told us that "Death Magnetic", which was similarly brick-walled to the point of clipping severely, actually sounded great. So it is also insulting when the artists themselves defend performances that aren't up to par. If they can't pull something off, that's fine. We all have our limitations. Just don't put it on a record if you can't do it. Re-write the song so you can perform it properly.

Really, this all boils down to one simple question that I can't answer. If an artist puts out a record that strikes me as them not caring about their own music, why should I care about it? Or them?

Album Review: Bloodbound - Tales From The North

Consistency, thy name is boring. That was clearly not written by Shakespeare, but maybe it is an age-old idea we sometimes forget happens to be the truth. Bands like Bloodbound make it clear why bands that never change up their style have die-hard fans, and plenty of people who dismiss everything they do. During their period of always evolving, I could at least say it was always interesting to listen to a Bloodbound record. Now that they've settled into a bit of a groove, I can't. They've become a bit... boring.

This time around, they change things up by embarking on a concept album about their Viking ancestors. While that might be new territory for them, there is so much metal out there about Vikings and Norse mythology it doesn't sound nearly as fresh as the band would want us to believe.

Also, if I may take a slight diversion; What is it with Bloodbound refusing t admit they're a cheesy power metal band? When they first hit the scene, they did the album cycle in faux King Diamond corpse paint. That was rather ridiculous, and quickly dropped, but all of the promo photos now show their singer with literal horns on his head. Seriously? I'm not a prude when it comes to body modification, but what is the point of doing something so obviously trying to make you look more rebelious than you really are? Ugh.

Back to the music. Bloodbound take their standard power metal, and this time add in some hints of folk to give it color. That gives some of the guitar lines on "Drink With The Gods" some nice bounce, but when the song turns into what feels like an endless chant about drinking, I wish I was drinking so it would feel shorter. And just as a bit of a philosophical rumination here, I would think if I was to ever meet the gods, I would want to remain sober so I knew I wasn't hallucinating something in a drunken stupor. It reminds me of the bit in the classic Simpsons "Treehouse Of Horror" segment when Homer gets sprayed with booze by the aliens, "so no one will believe you". Indeed.

I'll be honest with you about something. The reason I'm taking these diversions is because I don't actually have much to say about the music Bloodbound is giving us. Like all their recent records, this one is perfectly fine power metal. There's plenty of speed, and choirs, and it's all enjoyable enough to sit through. The problem is that it still never feels like I know who Bloodbound are, and the songs don't have the sharp knives they need to stick the landing.

Another Bloodbound album is just another Bloodbound album, much as it was the case in the later years of Motorhead's career. It will please the fans, and it will pacify those of us who remember a day we cared more about this stuff, but it won't win over people who aren't already dedicated to the cause.

Twenty Years Later, "Permission To Land" Has Been Granted

Not every band is meant to stay with your forever. Sometimes, they are a moment in time where everything comes together in a bit of magic, and the flash paper disappears once the trick is finished. I feel that way about The Darkness, as I sit here to ruminate about the twentieth anniversary of their landmark "Permission To Land". In some ways, it's hard to believe it's been that long since the first time those piercing high notes entered my ears, but in other ways it feels like music from another lifetime.

It took a mix of courage and stupidity to be The Darkness in 2003. Rock of the classic and glam styles was not cool, and littering a record with guitar solos and falsetto vocals was so out-of-place no one should have ever been able to find it. But thanks to charm, a bit of luck, and a video that was perfectly weird for MTV, The Darkness became successful beyond anything I could have imagined.

The band's one enduring moment is, of course, "I Believe In A Thing Called Love", which is one of the most absurd songs to ever become a hit. With three guitar solos, and an almost un-karaoke-able chorus, people laughed at the song just as much as they found themselves wanting to sing it. The lads made rock cool again by making it as uncool as possible. Watching the video, you get the impression the whole thing was a spoof, which is actually the way I like to think about it. They're paying homage to the past, but doing it with a sarcastic bent that tells us they understand how ridiculous the whole thing was. That also explains, at least to me, why I've never cared much for anything the band has done in the ensuing two decades. Jokes only last for so long before they get played out.

I was in college when that song came out, and it quickly became the bane of my existence. For whatever reason, as music played in our dorm, I let slip that I could hit some of the falsetto notes. It was mostly a party trick to pull out when people were sufficiently drunk, and I needed something to amuse myself. At one point, though, I had done it often enough that it caught people's attention. At the regular karaoke night, my name was covertly written on a slip of paper, then pulled out and announced to sing that very song. We had heard others try and fail many times before, and I could see on some of the regular's faces disappointment that I was going to get to the song before they could.

I wanted no part of any of that, mind you, since I was only there to not spend the night alone. I did not then, nor at any point since, want to sing in public. But as I was light enough to easily pick up and move, I was forced to the mic as the song began to play. I couldn't really hear myself, so I don't know how close I came to pulling it off, but it was certainly closer than the others who would endeavor to be so uncooly cool. I've always been under the impression I was a reasonable facsimile, which was enough to keep me from wanting to crack one of their large glasses of beer over their heads for doing that to me.

You would think that would complicate my relationship with this record, but it hasn't seemed to. There's an unbridled sense of fun that comes through the absurdity that few records have ever been able to match. I still love the exaggerated way Justin spits out the word "motherfucker" at the end of "Get Your Hands Off My Woman", and the fact that badminton is on his schedule in "Friday Night". It is so much the antithesis of the old rock and roll cliches that it warms my heart.

Perhaps I've been able to appreciate the record because, as time has gone on, my lack of care for my voice has meant those high notes drift further away from my range every year. I no longer think of it as a record I would stupidly sing along with, but rather an artifact of a past life. Maybe this wouldn't scream 'party record' to everyone, but to me it's a reminder of the good times I had in that place of my life. "Reign In Blood" is too, but that's a story for another day.

In the last twenty years, we've heard a lot of music that pulls from the classic rock of the past, but very little of it does so the way The Darkness did. This isn't trying to replicate the sound of worn out vinyl, or thinking that sounding like the next Led Zeppelin will make it so. No, this is a big and polished record that takes inspiration from the larger-than-life stories of the past, putting them in a context to show how silly it always was. Steel Panther has tried to do the same thing, but they never felt like they revered the music in the same way. Their jokes were more literal, more crude, and unable to sustain.

The Darkness made a record that skewered the past with love, and it's precisely because of that it still sounds this good twenty years later. Bitterness only gets worse with time, but sweetness can develop complexity. "Permission To Land" might not be complex, but my feelings towards it sometimes are. The one thing that never changes is that it remains an indelible record. It probably always will be.

Singles Roundup: Fall Out Boy, Kat Kennedy, Amaranthe, & Baroness

Where do we begin? Oh yeah:

Fall Out Boy - We Didn't Start The Fire

When is a cover not a cover? If you re-write all the lyrics, I would say you haven't covered the song, you've just half-assed your own bad idea. In this case, Fall Out Boy has 'covered' the Billy Joel track, but with new lyrics to cover the last thirty-plus years. First of all, most people agree that might be the worst Billy Joel song of all time, with some of the worst lyrics ever written, so why in the world does anyone think we need a new version of this? Secondly, they don't even put their references in chronological order, so the lyrics are truly just a list of things. Good grief. I almost wanted to defend the band when "So Much (For) Stardust" was actually pretty good, but they've now reminded me once again that they're no longer worth the effort.

Kat Kennedy - Limbo

I have praised all of Kat's recent singles, and this one is no excpetion in that regard. She's found a niche, and she does it exceptionally well. Her forlorn songs mesh perfectly with the tone of her voice, and her relatable stories are easy to find real-life analogs to. There's so much appeal to what she's doing, and when collected, the songs make for a wonderful EP's worth of music. So why do I sound ambivalent here? That's because I'm a little disappointed by these two-minute songs that are basically two verses and choruses. Where's a bridge to heighten the tension? Where is a third go-round to feel like a climax? Good though this is, it also feels like it's just treading water, and not building to a satisfying resolution. I want a little bit more.

Amaranthe - Damnation Flame

This song introduces the band's new growler, and I'll be honest by saying I didn't really notice any difference. Growling can be rather interchangeable, so the bigger deal is them saying this starts a new chapter by introducing symphonic elements they've wanted to integrate for a while. I still don't notice much difference, since their mixes have always been so dense the extra elements are more of a thickener than anything that stands out to a large degree. Trading some synth for some strings isn't the paradigm shift they're hinting at. This is still Amaranthe doing what Amaranthe does. They write very good hyper-pop-metal, and that's what this is. We'll see if their next chapter has any more enduring power than the previous one, as I've found myself not going back to their music at all. Funny that.

Baroness - Last Word

Here's a band I wanted to like, but simply can't. Once I realized my head couldn't take listening to "Purple" without feeling like I was getting a migraine, I've had a visceral hatred for Baroness. That any band would intentionally make records that sound so unpleasant felt like an affront to music, and when they repeated that again, it was the last straw. So why am I talking about this song? I was told they had solved that issue.... but they haven't. Maybe it doesn't clip to death the way the last two albums did, but Baroness love bad sound too much. This might be better, but it still sounds like they dropped the master tapes on the floor, then didn't bother to clean them before sending the record off to be pressed. There's some decent ideas here, but I'm not going to fight through the sound to get to them.