Album Review: Helloween - Giants And Monsters

I've written multiple essays trying to explain the connection I have with certain voices, and it comes in the form of talking about the good ways singers can burrow their way into my heart. The opposite is also true, where certain voices rub me the wrong way, making my brain itch as I'm listening and trying to understand how other people find the sound so wonderful. Speaking ill of the dead means I'll probably never write anything about how much one person in particular reminded me of the sound of Styrofoam rubbing against itself, but I can mention Michael Kiske without poking a body with a stick.

Kiske is a legend of power metal, and has popped up as a guest on several projects I have listened to over the years. No matter the context, I have always hated his voice in ways that are hard to describe. Even as bad a singer as I turned out to be, I think I would rather listen to myself than Kiske. So when Helloween brought him back to bring all the eras of the band under one metaphorical roof, it was the only think the band could have done to make me less interested in what they were doing.

Look, I like "The Dark Ride", but otherwise Helloween has never spoken to me. They are a rare band that manages to sound as if they are trying too hard while not coming across that heavy, and who are cheesy without any of the tongue-in-cheek fun that usually comes with the term. Maybe it's a miscommunication of senses of humor across the ocean, but Helloween's appeal is something I have a hard time discerning.

The entire genre of power metal has been accused of re-writing "Eagle Fly Free" hundreds of times, but Helloween has contributed their share of similar melodies over the years. The opening pair of songs on this album both go for the same soaring vocal approach, but they don't hit the stratosphere, nor do they move with a notable sense of melody. They're flat, but also not showcases for vocal heroics. It leaves the songs sounding quite generic.

"A Little Is A Little Too Much" is a better song, taking more of a hard rock approach. The synths add layers, but it's Deris' hook that is the improvement. The song appears to be about something... premature, but I didn't have to worry about Helloween getting me too hot and bothered too early. It was certainly a choice to write a song about that, though. At least it wasn't a song about how hard they rock, if I can play on words a little bit.

I also like "Into The Sun", which is a semi-ballad dripping with drama, as the piano and strings gives a stirring backdrop for the singers to both take turns and harmonize. It reminds me of a song like "If I Could Fly" from their past, and it the best use of the three singer approach, rather than trading off from one song to the next. Their interplay gives the songs layers and dynamics, and if they did that sort of thing more often, it would only make things better.

The good things the album does get weighed down by the generic power metal, which I can't muster any interest in anymore. "Universe (Gravity For Hearts)" comes along with eight minutes of exactly that, culminating in a chorus that finds the vocal ascending on an awkwardly phrased "you-knee-verse" that hits my ear in an uncomfortable way.

You might be wondering why I'm reviewing the album if I'm not much of a fan of Helloween or Kiske. The answer is that their reunion received wild praise from all corners, even though I didn't listen to it. When I saw the new album come across my desk, I figured I would see what I was missing out on. As it turns out, the answer is nothing I didn't already suspect. More power to the people who love this, but Helloween, especially in this incarnation, just isn't for me.