EP Review: Bloody Hammers - The Horrific Case Of The Bloody Hammers

Pulp. We know the word, although most of us probably first think of "Pulp Fiction". Pulp is terrible in orange juice, but a hoot in art. Old pulp comics, and old pulp movies, are cheesy fun that recall the old days when we were more entertained by an actor in a stupid and obviously fake mask than we are today by tens of millions of dollars worth of computer effects. Sometimes, being serious actually makes the point easier to miss. So when Bloody Hammers new EP is presented with a cover that makes it the pulpiest pulp this side of a paper factory, you can bet I'm going to give it a listen.

Sadly, the promise of some good pulp/grindhouse fun is not carried through into the music. We are promised "ice-cold nostalgia of 70's b-list thrillers", but the music lacks any of the campy charm that came from the era. It's slow, dark, and never gives the impression that they know tongue-in-cheek isn't a medical condition. Take a song like "Blood". There's one heavy riff that repeats through the verses, and then the 'chorus' doesn't offer up anything approaching a melody. It's almost a spoken word piece, rather than a proper song.

Sure, the synths at the start of "The Beyond" are fun, and do sound from the period the EP is shooting for, but the song itself is barely there. It crawls along, and again gargles out a few words instead of a melody. I'm not sure I understand what the point of this music is. The riffs aren't doing anything memorable, and the vocals are flat and disinterested. Neither aspect is giving us anything to grasp.

I hate to say it, but the best part of the entire EP is the cover art. That lives up to the promise of classic horror, while the music withers on the vine. I could make the obvious pun here that the title is accurate, but I don't want to call this horrific. What it is more closely resembles a terrible misunderstanding. This is the soundtrack of an idea the band had no idea how to pull off.