Album Review: Blind Channel - Lifestyles Of The Sick & Dangerous

Linguistics are fun, but sometimes you walk into things with the wrong expectation because of them. In a race to be original, words are put together that either shouldn't be, or don't belong. So while I give Blind Channel credit for labeling their music as 'violent pop', I know even before listening to their album that I'm not really going to get that. There isn't any way for music to really be violent, and what they mean is that they are intending to blend pop hooks with a heavier, dirty rock sound. That sounds like it should be an appealing blend, but when it turns out to not be 'violent', I'm going to have to say the band's bluster is a notable failure.

"Opinions" opens the album with a rap cadence and a not-quite trap beat, which doesn't blend all that smoothly into the heavier rock chorus. That part of the song is nice, but the way the title is sung initially caught my ear as repeating the word 'penis' instead. Laughing at a song that isn't trying to be funny isn't the best of starts, but that's where I was.

"Dark Side" has the same blend of hip-hop and alternative metal, but this time with a verse featuring vocals that emulate a barking dog. It's another cringe-worthy moment that makes me laugh, and it certainly doesn't sound the least bit 'violent' to my ears. I suppose cartoons can be violent, but this is more an anvil falling on Wile E Coyote's head than it is a realistic looking bit of blood and gore.

"Don't Fix Me" ups the energy, which is a welcome change of pace, but then the rapid-fire lyrics make reference to Miley Cyrus, and I wonder why they want to tie their music down to a certain moment in time like that. One of my favorite prog epics did the same thing by including a lyric about Britney Spears, and despite her ability to stay in the public eye, the song sounds like a relic because of it. Blind Channel's album threatens the same thing before we even get to the halfway point.

By then, the album's pattern is clear. Personally, I get absolutely nothing out of the rhythms of the verses, so there isn't enough in these songs to appeal to me. Sometimes a hook can be so good I'll overlook parts of a song I would otherwise have a problem with, but these songs don't reach those heights. The choruses are pretty good, but they aren't at a level where they can elevate a song. If this was more standard rock music, they would make for a perfectly fine album. But being constructed the way these songs are, I can't give very high marks.

Blind Channel falls into that category of bands who sell us something they can't deliver. When I read the description of what they were trying to do, I was intrigued. When I listened to what it actually entailed, I was not entertained. Set expectations low, and you can always clear the bar. Blind Channel didn't heed that advice, and because of it, this album is a chore to listen to.