Ranking The Songs: Bat Out Of Hell

Tens of millions of copies. Seven songs. One album.

"Bat Out Of Hell" is a legendary record, and it has made an enduring cultural impact with just seven song. Actually, it did it in even fewer than that, but in a day and age where we often get albums packed with fifteen songs (I tend to believe we can only absorb so many songs at one time), the brevity of "Bat Out Of Hell" is one of its great strengths.

So which of the seven legendary songs are the best? That's what we're going to discuss today, as I attempt to rank these songs that I have been listening to for thirty years, that others have been listening to even longer. Perhaps there is a surprise in how I look at the album, as oppoosed to the usual consensus. Let's find out.

7. All Revved Up With No Place To Go

I don't know if it's the horns, or the repetition, or the high school framing holding no appeal as that time has disappeared in the rear-view mirror, but I have never been a fan of this one. The tempo change is nice, but I think the song needed to speed up into a different part instead. Meat gives it his all, but I'm not buying no matter how well he sells it.

6. For Crying Out Loud

The epic closer is too epic for its own good. The core of the song is good, and the 'boner line' is delivered so straight-laced it doesn't undercut the emotion. The probem is that the song needs more to fill up seven minutes. The arrangement is all Meat and a string section, and the lack of the band's power is noticeable. Also an issue is the ending, which drags on and on past the point when I'm ready for the album to say goodbye. Steinman revisited the coda idea on "I'll Kill You If You Don't Come Back", but that song's more distinct sections make it feel much shorter than this one.

5. Heaven Can Wait

No more complaining. Lots of people don't like this song, since they tend to dismiss anything that is softer or slower, but not me. This ballad is beautiful, and actually shows that Meat and Steinman could feign sincerity when they wanted to. As a scene break between acts in this musical play, it's a wonderful lilt to give us a breather.

4. Paradise By The Dashboard Light

I'm reminded of Dickens; "It was the best of times, it was the worst of times." The ending section of this song is perhaps the best thing on the entire record, but its a tough slog to get there. The opening 50s rock n roll section is ok, but nothing special. The real problem is the baseball section, which is fun the first time you hear it, but absolutely kills the momentum after the hundreds of times I've listened to this song. The climax of the song is so good, and when Meat belts out "I'm waiting for the end of time, so I can end my time with you," it's one of my favorite moments in all of music. But I can't say the song is so great as a whole, and so it sits in the middle.

3. Bat Out Of Hell

Ah, here's where I will lose some of you. This song is great, full stop. I'm not arguing anyone who says this is the epitome of all that ever was Meat Loaf. I compeltely see where you're coming from, and we're talking about the narrowest of margins at this point. The ultimate motorcycle crash song, everything about it is ludicrous and over-the-top. It's rather astonishing it worked as well as it did, and the very first song on the very first album is probably the best vocal Meat ever delivered. I probably have it a touch lower than many, since I just don't care at all about motorcycles, so the entire genre Steinman was paying homage to is lost on me.

2. Two Out Of Three Ain't Bad

Here's a song that had unknowing influence on me. Tasked with writing a simple love song, Steinman couldn't do it. He just had to twist the knife, and salt the wounds with his sarcasm. That would become a part of my personality, for sure. From never digging for oil on a city street, to the prize at the bottom of a box of Cracker Jack, the song is a wonderfully wry little kiss-off, and a much more subtle way of rephrasing the ending to "Paradise By The Dashboard Light". "I want you, I need you, but there ain't no way I'm ever gonna love you. Now don't be sad, because two out of three ain't bad." How can you write better than that?

1. You Took The Words Right Out Of My Mouth (Hot Summer Nights)

But my favorite song has always been this one. Even as a kid, I was a sucker for Steinman's narrative opening. "On a hot summer night, would you offer your throat to the wolf with red roses?" is up there with The Joker's "Have you ever danced with the devil by the pale moon light?" Those lines stuck in my head, and what I love is how this one raises the stakes for an otherwise temperate little pop song. Instead of being merely a song about infatuation and making out, Steinman's intro is asking us if we would give our very lives for those moments of pleasure. I love that about it, and the wall-of-sound approach fully bought into the concept of more-is-more. It's the song on the album I find myself going back to more than any other, and it's that addictive quality, even three decades on, that makes me say it's the best song on the album.