Let's start this week with a doozy.
Manowar - Laut Und Hart Stark Und Schnell
I believe I have said previously that Manowar is on the 'dead to me' list, but this song is so awful I feel like saying something about it. Manowar has always been terrible, and this is no exception. Despite owning a studio, the recent Manowar productions have been flatly unacceptable. This song sounds like it was recorded in 1983, which was a time when Manowar had to be the loudest band on the planet, because that was the only way to make a record sound heavy. This just sounds amateurish... and that's the bright side. Lyrically, the song is mostly in German, which leads to an uncomfortable bit where it sounds like Eric is singing "Manowar, giant smell." I wasn't able to stop laughing before he got to the one English line, "if you don't like us, go to hell." All the false bravado, the body oil, and the loincloths, have never been able to make this bunch of posers into a fraction of the big manly men they want to be. 'Like us or go to hell' is not being tough, it's being a whiny little child who is trying to convince us we're wrong for not recognizing their greatness. To use the old line about not wanting to be a member of any club that would have me, being excluded from the world of Manowar is one of my proudest achievements as a music fan.
Illumishade - Hymn
The second single in recent times finds the group a bit more restrained in their approach. The symphonic elements are tucked a bit further back, and used more as a quick punch of drama, as opposed to drowning the entire song in it. That gives even more room in the mix for Fabienne's voice, which rings with nearly unparalleled beauty. There's something incredibly charming about how her voice blends in with the mix, selling the melody like a red-tag sale on a designer item. Symphonic metal is tough to pull off, but Illumishade continues to make it look easy. If these songs are harbingers for something bigger coming our way, the sky will be precious with how silver the linings appear.
Elegant Weapons - Blind Leading The Blind
When you combine the member of Judas Priest who wasn't there for any of the classic stuff with a singer who doesn't write songs, that seems to me to be a recipe for disaster. And yet, much to my surprise, this first song from their new project is actually quite good. The vocal is mixed far too low in the mix, which is expected for a guitarist's band, but otherwise they give us a much stronger and hookier song than I would have expected. Compared to what Vivian Campbell's band Last In Line has offered up in advance of their forthcoming album, this is light years better.
Jelusick - Reign Of Vultures
Dino Jelusick is breaking free of the hired-gun model with a band named after himself, so presumably we are finally getting to hear him as he intends. This song certainly gives me an impression. It starts off heavy and modern, and then turns into an almost hair metal chorus. While it does give him room to use his cleanest vocals alongside some gruffer moments, I'm not sure it really holds together as a cohesive song, and that chorus melody isn't very sticky at all. Perhaps 80s aficionados will like it more than I do, because hearing hair metal creeping in is usually a good way to get me to tune out.
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