Album Review: Creeper - Sanguivore

There are three kinds of albums that end up on the negative side of the ledger. There are those that leave me disappointed, those that leave me sad, and those that piss me off. Fortunately, there haven't been very many albums in that latter category over the years. When they do pop up, however, it makes them stand out even more. It's rare for music to do something so egregious is truly makes me angry, since there is always something else I can turn to instead, but it does happen from time to time.

Creeper just did it to me.

No, this has nothing to do with Creeper once again transforming themselves, as they went from emo-tinged pop-punk, to dramatic classic rock, to now Goth-influenced 80s rock. That is merely the recipe for disappointment, so I can live with that. I expect bands to disappoint me at some point, so Creeper going down this rabbit hole is unwelcome, but rather harmless.

What pisses me off about "Sanguivore" is the way they talked about the album leading up to it, dedicating it to the memory of Jim Steinman. Steinman is my first and foremost musical hero, so I should absolutely love an album inspired by him, and written about vampires. It's right up my alley.

Unfortunately, other than Creeper saying that, there isn't a single damn thing beyond the "Bat Out Of Hell" pastiche of the opening epic on this album that leads me to think they've ever heard a Steinman song in their lives. (Honestly, that is the best song on the record, hands down, so if they had merely done a whole album following that blueprint, this would be a far different review.) I know they have, because there were more echoes of him on their previous album. As Steinman moved into the 80s, as Creeper is, his style did change. But he remained dramatic, and sarcastic, and overblown to the extreme. Creeper.... has deflated into a mess of Goth (not Gothic) mumbling and bad drum loops.

The thing that kills me about this record is that the answers are right there in front of Creeper's faces. They have already done songs that have the bombast and majesty, the twisted fun and sarcasm, and every damn song on both of their first two albums are better than anything they have to offer here. "Eternity, In Your Arms" was far darker than this record, while "Sex, Death, & The Infinite Void" took more risks and wrung more drama out of their abilities.

By contrast, this record is entirely tame, flat when it should be building to an emotional torment, and completely without a sing-along chorus that makes the disease so infectious. The plague wouldn't have killed anyone back in the day if it was delivered through these songs, they're that easy to avoid.

Yes, I am being extra critical because Creeper invoked the memory of my hero, but even if they didn't, this would still be their worst record be a mile. It lacks any of the fun, cheese, or camp that they have traded in thus far. That gets replaced by a vague sense of 'dark' that really just means applying grease-paint and calling it a day. They follow through on the formula of record-building they had already established, and each one of them was done better before.

The opening epic? More memorable when it was "Black Rain". The ending piano ballad? Better when it was "I Choose To Live". The slow burn? Better when it was "Misery". And let's not pass by the fact that the recording of "Chapel Gates" simply sounds terrible. It doesn't even feel like it belongs on this record, it's that different.

Creeper has at least done us a service here by revealing a truth about who they are and who they aren't. They are a band of actors, who with each album put on new personas and sounds. That is fun as a parlor trick, but I'm realizing it means there really isn't much of a core to who Creeper are. By jumping from decade to decade, genre to genre, pastiche to pastiche, they don't want to do the work of digging deep and finding out who they are and what they have to offer us. Everything is a story, because they don't want to tell us their own.

"Sanguivore" is not the worst album of the year, but it is the one I'm going to have the hardest feelings about. Creeper actually has the potential to do great things, so their fall from grace is higher, and the stain where their vampire corpses splattered the ground are ever wider. Jim Steinman used to say you have to go over the top to see what's on the other side. The other truth to that is when you go over the top, people can't see when you fall.

Creeper didn't go far enough to avoid my sight. I see them, and I wish I didn't. This record makes me sad, and angry, and I hope against hope I'm able to never think about this again when I listen to Jim Steinman's music. If Creeper ruins that experience even 1%, it's an unforgivable sin.