Twenty Years, And Nothing Good Has Come From "You Are The Quarry"

I was going to sit own and write about how it's been twenty year since Morrissey released "You Are The Quarry", which was my first foray into the world of his music. But when I started to think about having spent half my life with his voice in my head, I was not filled with nostalgic thoughts about loving an artist and loving music. Sure, I still think that record is very good, and it serves as a soundtrack to a particular period in my life, but it also serves as a cautionary tale.

In both musical and personal terms, Morrissey is a reminder that having hope is often a terrible thing. Yes, I know that is about as cynical a thought as someone can have, and I'm not proud my head has been in that space for as long as it has. I like making the joke that both love and hope are 'four-letter words', but either no one else gets it, or I'm the only one looking at things from the dark side who is able to see the humor.

I was introduced to Morrissey by someone I spent an inordinate amount of time talking with. I was stupid and naive, and got caught up in something I should have known better than to allow. I was flooded with all the works of Morrissey, because apparently my personality was supposed to be in tune with his. Maybe it was, but I quickly figured out Morrissey wasn't actually a poet saying important things, but was the kind of person who thought he was smarter than everyone else because he could simply string a sentence together.

My time with both Morrissey and that person in question had the same trend; a period of getting swept up in something new and exciting, then realizing the connection was tenuous at best, then seeing the thread burn through as gravity pulled the ends apart. Yes, I fully realize that's a more elegant metaphor than anything Morrissey ever wrote in his life, and I dashed it off without even thinking it through. I've already written about Morrissey's lyrical shortcomings, so I don't feel like re-hashing every questionable line on "You Are The Quarry". That would take too long.

What does this have to do with hope?

When you meet a new person, or you find a new record you love, thoughts turn to the future. We think about all the exciting things that can come, how the feelings we have can continue to grow. We want to be optimists and believe the best is yet to come. It rarely is, and setting the bar too high only leads to us falling even further when our hand slips off.

In Morrissey's case, that came in the form of him becoming an intolerable boor. He's the sort of person who is not just an embarrassment to be a fan of, but genuinely makes me cringe. Whether it's his questionable reactionary politics, his insistence on treating his asshole behavior as some sort of crusade for artistic truth, or fighting with everyone who has ever worked with him (hence having at least two records held 'hostage' by a lack of record deal at the moment), it's exhausting to care about this man.

He certainly doesn't make good enough music to make it worth the effort. "You Are The Quarry" is the one time when I would say it is worth it. That record was a comeback effort that had to be Morrissey's best work, and it was. For the first and only time, he focused his writing on structure, and delivered songs that were not only pretentious, but filled with actual melodies. There are enough of them to make us sometimes forget about just how lazy and awful he became as a lyricist.

In my case, nearly everyone I've ever put hope in has led to disappointment. If I'm lucky, they fade away into obscurity the way Morrissey's record sales have. If I'm not lucky, they wind up doing or saying something that utterly crushes me soul. I suppose it's ironic that I get put in the exact position where Morrissey's bitterness should be of great appeal. Neither he nor The Smiths have ever been my go-to when the darkness gets too oppressive.

It's odd to look back at and album and see it as both a great work, but also a moment in time where we didn't know how bad things were going to get. "You Are The Quarry" is harder to listen to now, because we know how things turned out for Morrissey. These last twenty years have made it difficult to see the record as one last gasp of greatness, instead turning it into a cautionary tale of letting your guard down.

All of that is to say you shouldn't expect a more nostalgic look back five or ten years from now, if I'm still putting myself through this endeavor. If anything, Morrissey has reminded me of the need to repress large portions of the past. It may not be possible, but I think I'll start with him and see how it goes.