Ten Years Of Bloody Good Music

Time is not a flat circle, but like a pane of glass it is more fluid than we can often see and sense. Time will pass by in a flash, or drag on for an eternity, depending on our perspective. We measure time in part because we cannot accurately gauge our lives without the objective units to justify our feelings. If we relied solely on our own interpretation of life, time would become irrelevant and incomprehensible. Life may be that way anyhow, but we at least give ourselves the chance of speaking with some degree of certainty about the issue.

Bloody Good Music began ten years ago this month. We had already been writing about music at our former home, but it has been ten years since we decided it was more important to have editorial independence than a built-in audience. Perhaps we have missed out on some opportunities to have more eyes on our writing, or to work with some artists/labels who deem us too small an outlet, but that is balanced by our ability to do what we want when we want. That freedom is what has made this endeavor last as long as it has.

In this past decade, I have probably written a million words about music, and I don't know if that would have happened had I been forced to put myself in a box in terms of what we were covering. As time has unfolded, I have realized the old creases are far deeper than the new ones, and the music we started out being known for covering is not what is truly in my heart anymore.

Contained in those million words are countless opinions, but also countless thoughts on philosophy and self I can't say would have come to mind had I not been using music as a filter to sift through the clutter of my mind. This past fall, I went on a bit of a tangent writing essays that talked about philosophy and psychology as partners with music in explaining elements of both life and myself. Those pieces were inherently selfish, but also the most rewarding work I have done here in quite a while. Reviewing the new albums that find their way into my inbox is its own kind of satisfaction, but figuring out how to explain something that has remained a mystery even to me is exactly the sort of experience thinkers spend their time hoping to find. That I have done so with this blog is a source of comfort when it is needed most.

That isn't to say the music I have covered over these last ten years is inconsequential, but one of the ways I am typical is in the music of my formative years remaining unchallenged as what I cherish the most. In compiling a list of my fifty favorite albums ever, the number that have come from these last ten years is rather small, but I don't consider that a failure. Instead, I am heartened by the continued hunt for music that can grab at that brass ring even as I lose hope that it will ever be plucked from the string that holds it. Music is still my currency of thought, but the end of this decade-long experiment comes with the reality that the love of music has been waning.

Just as time inevitably moves forward, so too does music. The world today is not the same as it was ten years ago, nor are the people who make the music we are listening to. Even within the same band, the paradox of cellular replacement means that literally we may not be the same people we were. To expect music to continue speaking to us in the same way is not a logical assumption to make, but keeping the faith is the sort of illogical absurdity we should nevertheless be proud of. Giving in and giving up is easy, which I know from other areas of life. Wading through the swamps because you know a gem sits at the bottom is a righteous dedication, even if it isn't the most elegant metaphor for this situation.

When I look back at these ten years, I could focus on the records I still pull out to transport my mind to a calmer place. I could, but I actually don't. While there will be time to re-examine the personal legacies albums like Halestorm's "Vicious" or Jorn Lande's "Dracula: Swing Of Death" retain, what I focus on more as the real legacy of Bloody Good Music comes in the form of friendship.

This blog has served foremost as a catalyst for D.M and I to maintain the ties of our friendship, which stretches back over twenty years at this point. Discussing the releases we share interest in, or even just the schedule of our publishing, is reason to check in and keep up on our lives. I have enough friends who have drifted away because we lacked any such impetus to stay connected over the distances that I do treasure what this has meant.

Additionally, there are at least two musicians I have become friends with through these writings my life would have been empty without. While there have been periods of frustration, with recent days being chief among them, they have been closer to me than virtually anyone I have met in 'real life' during the same stretch. Not only is music a communicator, it is my communicator. Music has given me a gift I struggle with in other contexts. To think that an email sent to a voice I saw on television, or someone who appeared as what seemed like a background collaborator at the time, would evolve into meaningful relationships is exactly the sort of mystery of the universe that keeps me wondering what else is possible.

The answer to that question is usually 'nothing', and I spent more than a modicum of time cursing the very ideas of fate or a 'plan', but I cannot be arrogant enough to completely dismiss the concept of hope. There are many days I wish I could, and I probably do right now as I write these words, but these few small gifts are things I cannot otherwise explain or understand. They are ethereal in their own way, and justification of the very idea of dreaming.

All of this is to say that these ten years have been as much about me as they have the music, at least from my perspective. Writing has been my connection to people and the world, and music is the reason any of it was possible. I don't know if we will gather here again in another ten years to see how much has changed, but regardless of when the ride ends, it will have been worth taking.

I spend a lot of time contemplating the past, and regretting nearly every decision I have ever made. I regret the things I did, and I regret the things I didn't do. I can honestly say I have never once regretted our move to start Blood Good Music. That might be the one thing I know was right.

What else is there to say?