Bloody Good News: God & Coronavirus, Kerry King, and Zeppelin's Plagiarism

Our Top Story: As the Coronavirus epidemic continues to spread, we are inundated with stories of grief, heroism, and in the case of Ted Nugent, outright stupidity. I told myself I wasn't going to talk about this peice of crap again, but he made a comment about the situation that leads me to something I would like to talk about, so he's only tangentially important to this discussion. If I ran across anyone else saying the same thing, I would have started with them rather than Nugent.

His number one advice for dealing with the crisis is, "remember that prayer does get us through some of the most tragic and trying times in human history."

I suppose it's a nice though, but it's utterly incomprehensible. If you are a devout Christian of the self-righteous sort that Nugent is, the core belief is that God created this world, and everything in it. That means, logically, that God also created the virus that is now shutting down the entire world. God created a disease that indiscriminately infects and kills the very same people Jesus died to save. How does that make any sense? Furthermore, if prayer is the answer, and will get us through this ordeal, how is it justifiable or right that those who already pray still get sick, still die? Prayer hasn't stopped the virus from emerging, nor spreading, so what reason do any of us have to think prayer will now get us, and us alone, through this?

Nugent is one of those people who believe in a God of convenience. When something good happens, it was God's will. When something bad happens, it just happens. It's a short-sighted, illogical cop-out of a belief system. You have to take everything, all or nothing, if you're going to be taken seriously. Obviously, no one should ever take Nugent seriously, but him expressing this kind of opinion pisses me off. When so many are suffering, to imply they weren't praying hard enough, or the right way, is beyond insulting. If we are all made in God's image, Ted Nugent is obviously his asshole.

In Other News: Rumors are now spreading that Kerry King's next musical venture, after the end of Slayer, will be a new band featuring him and his recent cohorts Gary Holt and Paul Bostaph, along with former Pantera singer Phil Anselmo. It's only fitting that someone from a band once lambasted (incorrectly) for a song about the Holocaust may not be in a band with a guy who has been accused of using white power slogans and symbols.

Kerry has long been the worst part of Slayer, writing songs that have gotten dumber and dumber over the years, and adding in the 'intellect' of Anselmo isn't going to help matters. Phil has spent recent years getting himself in trouble, and alienating people who used to like him, which means this new band would be taking the worst period of Slayer, and adding in a vocalist plenty of people are sick of. That doesn't sound like a recipe for success to me, and I don't know what any of these guys has left in the tank. It sounds to me like Kerry never wanted Slayer to end, and he's going to put together a band that more or less carries on with exactly what he was doing, using Phil's name to try to keep the band from having to start at the bottom. I'm not excited.

In Addition: An appeals curt has ruled in Led Zeppelin's favor, once again declaring that "Stairway To Heaven" is not plagiarized. Or at least it isn't a severe enough case for there to be any merit to a lawsuit. Let's be clear about this; Led Zeppelin stole plenty of material from blues artists (some of which they have been forced to admit over the years), and "Stairway To Heaven" absolutely knicks the opening chords from Taurus' "Spirit" (whom Zeppelin toured with, meaning Page probably heard the song), but it's only a couple chords at the beginning of a seven minute rock epic, and the meat of the song is Page's work entirely (we assume - maybe someone will find a tape of it being played by someone else earlier).

Copyright and plagiarism cases are tough, because while we do want to protect the creativity and intellectual property of artists, the fact is there are only so many chords and notes, and sometimes songs are going to sound like other songs. In this case, it's hard to argue that Zeppelin didn't do what they were accused of, but it's hard to see such a small part of a song being enough to claim ownership of it. I don't know what the precise amount of theft is before a song becomes plagiarized, but this doesn't clear that bar. "Stairway To Heaven" can have an asterisk, and we can acknowledge what happened, but it doesn't stop being their song.

Album Review: Testament - Titans Of Creation

Testament can be taken one of two ways. You can see their wandering evolution as the natural process of a band exploring their ever-shifting taste, or you can see their changes in style as attempts to pander to whatever they thought the masses wanted from them at any given moment. They essentially became a death metal band when thrash was at its lowest, then went back to old-school thrashing when nostalgia for that genre was rising. It could have been natural, but man does that timing look too coincidental. So that leaves me wondering where they go now that the thrash revival is slowing down, and there isn't really any big trend to hop on.

Out of the gates, the band comes out with plenty of anger and aggression. "Children Of The Next Level" has the old thrash bounce to it, with nary an ounce of melody, as Chuck Billy goes from aggressive to even more aggressive with his vocals. It's six minutes of pounding, yelling, without a lot beyond heaviness to say for it. "WW III" is even faster-paced, trying to blitzkrieg us. There's an odd bit where the riff starts with just one guitar, and before the second one comes in, the tone is so washed out I couldn't even make out what was being played. That was weird, but not as annoying as their syntax. I'm not sure why, but not spelling out 'world war' bothers me.

Moving deeper into the record, the band doesn't let up one bit. "Dream Deceiver" and "Night Of The Witch" continue pile-driving thrash riffs into our heads, while Chuck runs the gamut of what he can do vocally. The thing is that it becomes less effective the more they do it. One ripping thrasher makes a statement, but a string of them in a row dilutes the impact as they blend together. The only real difference between the songs is whether Chuck throws in a deep growl or a high scream as coloring. That's not very interesting to me.

"City Of Angels" is another puzzling song. The soft intro is a needed break, but it goes through a heavy verse as expected, which is fine. Then the chorus hits, and Chuck is whispering his way through it. There's no power to it, and any melody is ruined by the weak delivery that could be interpreted as them not caring about the subject matter of the song. Chuck's a good enough clean singer that he could have easily crooned something that would have still been softer than his usual delivery, but not so flaccid.

And then there's the elephant in the room. This record is nearly an hour long, which given their focus on being aggressive, grows old very quickly. Not only were thrash albums shorter in the classic days, but they quite often weren't even what we would call thrash today. Almost no one was putting out solid hours of pure aggression, and for good reason. It's too much, and few of the songs are unique enough to stand out from the others. I can only be yelled at by Chuck for so long before I'm ready to give up.

"Titans Of Creation" is a very trying album, unless you're already a thrash die-hard. You could describe it as punishing, because I did feel like I was being punished having to sit through the whole thing. I am not an angry enough person to enjoy being pummeled like this for so long, and I honestly feel a bit worried for the people who are.

Album Review: Dynazty - The Dark Delight

There are two ways to think about the term 'pop metal'. There is the version of it where bands are essentially taking pop music and injecting metal elements to try to earn themselves some credibility. We can think of Poppy in this area, who this year put out an album that is essentially a pop record with a bunch of guitars on it. Thankfully, not all of that kind of music is as bad as hers. The other version of pop metal is when metal bands try to inject pop catchiness into their vocal hooks. That style has become increasingly popular, with Amaranthe finding huge success doing it, and Within Temptation and Delain recently tryig to jump on the bandwagon. Dynazty is along for the ride as well, but they were one of the early riders. They have been making sticky, heavy, pop-tastic power metal for a while now.

The earliest I can recall this particular sound was on Bloodbound's "Tabula Rasa", which holds up to this day as the cutting edge of what modern power metal can do in merging mechanically heavy music and soaring hooks. I have been waiting and waiting for more records to approach that angle, and that quality, but so far there have been very few contenders for that crown (James LaBrie's "Impermanent Resonance" being the strongest). Dynazty has the right elements to do it, but so far they just haven't connected with me, and I can't quite put my finger on why.

This record gets off to a great start, with "Presence Of Mind" giving us a bouncing hook, heavy guitars, and some hints of organ in the background, all of which adds up to a track that does everything this style of metal is supposed to. It makes no apologies for being metal through-and-through, but has crossover appeal in the melodies. That's perfect, if you ask me.

"The Black" shows how Dynazty fuses pop and metal, which a chugging rhythm leading into a high-register chorus that plays off the stabbing guitar chords, all capped off with a metallic scream. But unlike some artists who can't figure out how to bring these elements together in a cohesive way *cough*Devin Townsend*cough*, Dynazty's sound is seamless. This is metal that is naturally infectious, not something cobbled together from the lost-and-found bin in someone's studio. There's a big difference between the two, trust me.

My favorite track might just be "Hologram", which is a quasi-ballad that uses the extra space in the mix to build drama. There's some ebb and flow to the track that the heavier numbers aren't capable of, which I think not only helps with the album's pacing, but also gives the band a chance to let their songwriting breathe a bit more. Songs like "Waterfall" are great, but an entire album of everything being at full-blast without pause would be too much. Dynazty throwing some dynamics into the mix is quite helpful for me.

There are great songs on this album, and there are also some that don't quite hit the mark. "The Man And The Elements" sounds like everything else, but the melody isn't as captivating as some of the others. And as the album progresses, the instrumental breaks seem to get longer, when I feel like this kind of metal needs to be rather concise to be its most effective. There's a bit of a lull two-thirds of the way through where the momentum started to stall out.

Overall, "The Dark Delight" is a very good example of the proper kind of pop metal. It isn't perfect, but the majority of the record is the blend of heavy and catchy we don't get nearly enough of. Dynazty still hasn't made that career-defining record I've been waiting for, but they do keep making records that are plenty of fun to listen to.

Album Review: The Heavy Eyes - "Love Like Machines"

To recap from yesterday - in these trying times, individuals find comfort in the familiar.  For me, and I’m sure for many others, a good chunk of that comfort comes in the form of music.  So it is that while I am locked in inside, held at an (understandable) arm’s length by my job and society as a whole, I while away the hours by scouring through promos and new music that come into my inbox.

During these days, I hoped to merely find something interesting, and in doing so I stumbled across two revelations – though revelatory for different reasons.  Master Boot Record was the first of these, and so consider this the second part of what is a two part review.

Where the joy in discovering MBR came in the unveiling of something novel and different, there is also a profound joy in finding an artist who understands the conventions of a genre with such genius as to render the familiar new all over again.

So, The Heavy Eyes.  A band based deep in the blues of Memphis and fully capable of brewing that inexorable heritage into their particular backyard moonshine blend of rock and metal. 

At first blush, the combination of fuzzed-out, yowling guitars and Tripp Shumake’s measured and monotone vocal delivery bring to mind the image of Everlast performing a set with Kyuss.  That might be an oversimplification, but it’s perhaps the most efficient way to describe the rolling blues vibes of this colorful and vibrant record.

This new record “Love Like Machines,” because it displays such mastery of the best aspects of the genre, begets automatic comparisons to the heavyweights and boutique acts that have come before.  If you’ve ever listened to Clutch, Mothership, Scissorfight, Sundrifter, Shawn James & The Shapeshifters, Devil to Pay, Screaming Trees, Graveyard, The Blue Van, Midnight Ghost Train, or yes, even Black Sabbath, and thought ‘yep,’ then you’ll instantly fall in love with The Heavy Eyes.  To steal from the sampled phone call at the beginning of Anthrax’s “Cadillac Rock Box,” there’s some mighty fine groovin’ goin' on on this record here.

“Love Like Machines” delivers throughout its brisk thirty-four minutes, and the length itself is worth noting.  For the ocean of immersive blues possibilities that this kind of metal offers, The Heavy Eyes show no proclivity for meandering down lengthy paths.  The riffs, albeit it customarily tuned to be round and warm at the edges, are punctual and efficient, which lends the album some immediacy in a genre that so often gets lost.  Only once does the band adventure past the four minute mark, making for bite-sized blues bullets that shoot straight to the heart of the matter.

The brevity does not listen the impact.  The album shines brightest beginning with “Bright Light,” an airy, haunting piece that resonates with a stop and go riff and a lot of empty space, which allows the vocal tone of Shumake to set the tone and pace.  His is a voice that one wouldn’t expect to be able to effect that kind of momentum, but there’s something magnetic in his delivery that makes the song seem more direct, more dire.

Part of the genius of “Love Like Machines” is that while it was clearly concocted in a blues metal mold, there’s a healthy streak of grunge in the alloy that lends just enough luster to make the record seem both familiar and cutting edge.  The back half “A Cat Named Haku,” doesn’t work without the idiomatic guitar bending and out and out note strangulation of grunge.  And perhaps it’s all cyclical – blues metal begat grunge which begat blues metal, but the two are intertwined and both necessary to make this record a success.

The record hits more highlights on the back end with “The Profession,” which moves with a White Stripes beat and an infectious insistence.  The drums of Eric Garcia, while not overwhelming, craft a delectable beat that helps float a riff honed over fifty years of blues metal knowledge and distilled into a deceptively simple but no less effective mix.  It’s the album’s best track, a rolling good time that could raise the mood of a social gathering, or raise your own spirits during social distancing.

You’ve heard “Love Like Machines” before.  You’ve heard it a thousand times, in steamy, swampy clubs, emanating from beer-addled dive bars, hanging out with your friends in a basement, whatever the case may be.  Yet you’ve never heard this before.  It’s a real skill when a band can make the old new again, and the reinvention of the familiar is always a good day at a time when there are thousands of also-ran bands copying a template without really innovating on it.

If Master Boot Record is laudable because it is the celebration of something new and different, than The Heavy Eyes are laudable because they remind us how fulfilling it is to be greeted by an old friend.  It’s a pleasant reminder that every now and again, just for a while, you can go home again.

Album Review: Master Boot Record - "Floppy Disk Overdrive"

In these trying times, individuals find comfort in the familiar.  For me, and I’m sure for many others, a good chunk of that comfort comes in the form of music.  So it is that while I am locked in inside, held at an (understandable) arm’s length by my job and society as a whole, I while away the hours by scouring through promos and new music that come into my inbox.

During these days, I hoped to merely find something interesting, and in doing so I stumbled across two revelations – though revelatory for different reasons.  As such, consider this the first part of what is a two part review, with the second chapter to come (on the new release from The Heavy Eyes,) tomorrow.

One of the sublimely pleasing privileges of my meager station as a music reviewer is the unearthing of some new gem.  A heretofore unexplored genre or permutation that the world is yet to fully digest. 

Enter Master Boot Record.  While we here loathe the confining parameters of genre labels, it is a fun game to play in these instances when so many narrow definitions can be turned on their ear in an ultimately futile effort to describe the indescribable.  Master Boot Record, and his debut full-length “Floppy Disk Overdrive,” is both all of and none of a hundred different qualifiers, including electronic, thrash, dramatic, symphonic, industrial and video game.  It is the kind of construction that is clearly built on the premise of ‘what would sound good here?’ as opposed to ‘what progression does my idiom dictate?’  Sometimes, the best words to define music are words that are not exclusive to music – if asked about MBR (for short,) my answer would be ‘energetic’ or ‘oddly captivating.’

A friend of mine, who I had listen to MBR for a second opinion, said it better than I could have, and I’m paraphrasing, but her message was this – if Floppy Disk Overdrive had been released six months ago, I don’t know that I would have liked it.  But with the influx of electronic music into the metal scene, this is something we’re now ready for.

Indeed, much of the album dances with abandon on the line between industrial good taste and over-the-top video game nonsense.  It’s as though KMFDM were performing a cover of “Clash on the Big Bridge” from “Final Fantasy V.”  The music is heavy enough to demand serious attention, but there is a sense of unavoidable…I don’t know, whimsy?  Nostalgia?  Hard to pinpoint a proper term, except to say that it clearly evokes images of the video games my generation grew up on.  As a listener, if you are not attuned to that style already, know that you may have to battle against it in order to see the underlying genius of MBR.

Part of the beauty of this record is that is has stop-on-a-dime changeability.  Due to the keyboard programming, the entire record pounds ahead with a ferocity that human musicians would never be able to match, or sustain.  One imagines this is the kind of thing that Al Jourgensen is talking about when he’s discussed producing music so fast that the beats are indistinguishable.  And yet, as MBR shows in “DISPLAY.SYS,” he can instantly change from a Beethoven symphony played at warp speed to a section with the docility of an unaccompanied string quartet. 

Make no mistake though, the real attraction to “Floppy Disk Overdrive” is the adrenaline factor when the beat really gets going.  The bass is deep and the ‘drums’ are fast and relentless, as though this were the soundtrack to a thousand starfighters having a dogfight.  In the middle of the Crab nebula.  At speeds much faster than light.  Imagine watching all of that, and now tap your foot while it’s happening, and you’ve got the idea.

There are some flaws which should be mentioned for accuracy’s sake.  The album’s first eight songs all sound kinda the same.  Some of them are long, some are medium, some are short, but the album flows in such a way that it’s hard to tell where one ends and another begins.  So as a listener, you might get forty-five minutes in before you realize the track has changed.  That doesn’t diminish the fun of listening to them, but it does mean that if they show up on your music shuffle, you’re going to know it’s an MBR song, but not which one.

Finally, with “SMARTDRV.EXE,” we hear something that shines as a beacon above and beyond its brothers and sisters, but in some small part it captures attention because sections of it sound like an electronic cover of “Master of Puppets.”  Nonetheless, it’s the first ‘Wow!’ moment on the record, and shows MBR’s ability to blend high tones, low tones and measured beats into something beyond just workout fuel.

He extends this trend through the end of the album.  “DISKCOPY.COM” is a slower, more methodical and, dare I say, emotional approach that revels in dramatic effect, while “EMM386.EXE” is the album’s equivalent of that part in the “November Rain” video where Slash rock his righteous guitar solo out front of a dusty chapel with a wind tunnel blowing his hair around.

Pro tip – when listening to this record, don’t try and hear what it would sound like played with the instruments you picture in your head.  I made that mistake the first time through and missed what the album was actually all about. 

“Floppy Disk Overdrive” is a beautiful, fast-paced new thing, unlike just about anything you’ve ever heard and complete unique.  As we mentioned at the top, one of the singular joys of listening to new music, especially when you get buried under as much stuff as Chris and I do, is finding something uncomfortable and new and shiny and different.  Master Boot Record’s debut record is many things, but chief among them is different.  It’s a pleasant reminder that we can experience something novel while partaking in a familiar old hobby.

Album Review: Ad Infinitum - Chapter I: Monarchy

I've written many times about my issues with symphonic metal. I'll be brief in recapping, but far too often I hear symphonic bands that don't make the best use of their extra instrumentation. They will either add no drama to the proceedings, or the songs would be no different if the orchestrations weren't present. They exist as a candy coating on the chocolate; empty calories that make it look pretty, but don't taste like anything. Ad Infinitum is in a position to not change my opinion, but at least show me it isn't a hard-and-fast rule.

The two singles released before the record were everything that symphonic metal should be; foreboding and dramatic, with big swells that sashayed across the speakers with real flair. Couple that with the captivating vocals of Melissa Bonny and some stirring melodies, and Ad Infinitum sounds more than promising. They sound like what I have been waiting to hear for so long.

Unlike a certain symphonic metal band that no longer writes anything but the simplest, ham-handed riffs to serve as a basis for their prettier tinkling, Ad Infinitum's music has a heft and power to it befitting the extra adornment. The core of the band is powerful, so they don't get overpowered and swallowed when the strings and horns come in. They are both symphonic and metal, which isn't always the case.

It's details like the plunking of strings during the verse of "See You In Hell" that set symphonic metal apart. It's a completely different sound than you can create just with guitars, and it's blend of percussiveness with an organic harmonic is a necessary component. Far from being tacked on, it draws you further into the composition, focusing your attention on such a small detail that the swell of the chorus sounds even bigger by comparison. Ok, I'll go there; while there might be more wildly sophisticated elements to some of Nightwish's music, Ad Infinitum shows a more deft touch in putting all those elements to good use. They are a heavier band, and their music better written, than anything I've heard from Nightwish in recent years.

Whether it's the softer moments, or Bonny's occasional growls, the music does take us on the cinematic ride only appropriate for such large-scale music. The package might be compact, but Ad Infinitum packs a lot into these brief moments. There isn't any wasted space or time on the album, instead delivering tightly written tracks that are more focused on their power than their egos. There is no 'composer syndrome' to be found here. Everything is in service of the songs.

As you can tell, I found myself liking this record quite a bit. A collection of great songs with big melodies and heavy doses of drama is what I want out of symphonic metal, and it's what Ad Infinitum has given us. Of the two similar albums being released within an eight day span, it's a no-brainer which one I would choose. Nightwish might get more acclaim and attention, but Ad Infinitum is the better record. No doubt about it.

EP Review: Candlemass - The Pendulum

I want to try something a bit different today. When is a review not a review? In this case, when talking about the new Candlemass EP, I'm not really going to talk much about the music contained herein. I have other issues this brings to mind, and I find them much more interesting than commenting on yet another Candlemass release.

For starters, I seem to be the only person tangentially related to the metal world who is still angry at the band for soldiering on after they promised us they were done. "Psalms For The Dead" was promoted as their final album, and it pains me to see how many people have absolutely no problem with the band going back on their word. Candlemass is not the only band to do that, but no one ever seems to be held accountable for their words and actions anymore. I don't like being lied to, and that's exactly what Candlemass did. You don't make such a life-altering announcement without thinking it through, and you certainly don't come back without some kind of substantial mea culpa, but Candlemass has never had to do that. We have let them get away with lying to us, and going back on their lie. In fact, they might be more loved now than before they sullied their reputation.

The other issue with this release is what it is. These songs are from the cutting room floor, the scraps that didn't make it into last year's well-heralded (not by me) album. That's the problem. Candlemass is now trying to push out this EP, and promote it as something we have to listen to, while also telling us these songs weren't good enough to be on their last record. If they weren't as good as a record that didn't impress me all that much, why would I want to listen to them? Saying you considered these tracks second-rate isn't a strong selling point, even to people who did like what the record had to offer.

Plus, half the tracks here are worthless, minute-and-a-half interludes. Interludes wasting time... on an EP. Ugh.

Furthermore, I don't understand why the band would feel the need to say any of this. While I don't like being lied to, we also don't need to be made aware of every dirty detail. The band could have simply told us these were new songs, or songs they had never finished until now. Something, anything that would indicate to us they believed in these tracks as more than a stopgap. But that's not what they did. They instead chose to take the route of honesty here, and not with their very existence, which is a confusing existential mess. I'm not sure what to make of their selective honesty.

And then there's the matter of "Porcelain Skull", the one song that wouldn't fit into that last paragraph's suggestion. This song appeared on Avatarium's wonderful album last year, and is now being given to us (presumably) more as Leif Edling envisioned it. I consider this a problem as well. Firstly, if Leif thought the song was good enough, he shouldn't have given it to Avatarium. Releasing it himself, and as a single no less, seems like he's trying to one-up a band that no longer needs him. It feels petty. Secondly, his version isn't anywhere near as good. Candlemass' version is rough around the edges, unrefined, and lacking the soulful, sultry emotion Jennie-Ann Smith can bring. If anything, putting the song out on this EP only shows that Leif needs help to get the most out of his songs, which can't possibly be what he intended.

So yes, "The Pendulum" is an interesting release by Candlemass. Just not for any of the reasons they might want.

Singles Roundup: Katatonia, Illumishade, Blues Pills, Skarlett Riot & Motive Black

I haven't had the opportunity to talk about some new songs that have come out recently, but there are some very interesting things to take a look at. Here's a few of them:

Katatonia - Lacquer & Behind The Blood

After celebrating an album anniversary and taking some time off, Katatonia is finally following up "The Fall Of Hearts", and the early indications are not good. "Lacquer" is an alectronic song that sounds nothing like Katatonia, and is too far removed from their usual sound for me. "Behind The Blood" is better, but a pale imitation of their best work. The commonality between the two is that, regardless of the instrumentals the band plays with, the melodies are flat, boring, and uninspired. There is no hook or gravity to them, and both songs are entirely forgettable. Katatonia is always depressive, but this music is depressing.

Illumishade - World's End, Rise, & Crystal Silence

This new band, on the other hand, has been doing everything right. Featuring Fabienne Erni of Eluveite, this project is a theatrical/symphonic brand of heavy metal that has plenty of crunch, and fabulous melodies and vocals. "Crystal Silence" is the short and sweet typical single, pairing angelic vocals with seven-string guitar sounds. "World's End" is more dramatic, and shows the scope of the coming concept album. Fabienne does more great work on that one, but hits her height on "Rise", the sweeping ballad that is a stirring rush of drama. The band has much in common with The Dark Element, and these songs are pointing to a record perhaps even better than we say from Anette's group last year. This is one to seek out.

Blues Pills - Proud Woman

A great debut album was followed by a shift in style and tone I didn't enjoy much, and this first taste of album three seems to be trying to split the difference. They are rocking more than on "Lady In Gold", but without the timeless quality of their debut. Elin is still a magnificent singer, but once again she fails to give herself a good enough melody. This doesn't sound like the same band that wrote "Jupiter" or "Astral Plane". I'm sensing another disappointment coming.

Skarlett Riot - Human

I liked their album, "Regenerate", a good deal. It was a record that nicely straddled rock and metal, with Skarlett's vocals setting a very interesting tone. This is the first taste of their upcoming next record, and it finds the band picking right up where they left off. The production is heavy and incredibly modern, and the song colored with both piano notes and growled vocals. It's aggressive while still being melodic, and it's a highly engaging take on the up-to-the-minute trends. Skarlett Riot is very, very good.

Motive Black - Broken

The first single from this new band is one that caught my interest. Very much like the recent album from Stitched Up Heart, this is heavy mainstream rock that has plenty of crunch, and great melodies and vocals from ____. She has enough snarl to make the song sound heavy, but soars when she needs to. That chorus is pure radio fodder, and quickly got caught in my head. Word has it an EP is coming sometime this year, and you can count me in on it. I'd love to hear more of us.

Album Review: The Birthday Massacre - Diamonds

What is a dream? If you listen to the music described as 'dream pop', you'd be inclined to think it's akin to the images we draw of the afterlife, with fluffy clouds, shapeless robes, and the soft plink of harps. I don't know about you, but that doesn't sound much like the dreams I have. Dreams can be visceral, they can be lucid, and yes, they can be frightening too. If we want to attach the word 'dream' to music, we need to look at a much wider array of sounds and attitudes. Among those would be what The Birthday Massacre give us, which is a synth-rich sound that lies somewhere between the conscious and unconscious. Or at least I hear it that way.

The Birthday Massacre has been around for many years, but the first time they grabbed my attention was when I happened across the lead single for this record, "The Sky Will Turn". It immediately stood out as something with an interesting mix of dark and cool, a soothing soundscape that could be the aftermath of a dystopian 80s. Given my feelings on that decade, I really like that impression.

What that song in particular, but the album as a whole, is able to do is make a dark and heavy version of synth-pop that is melancholy without becoming sad-ass misery. Like watching a ballet of sad clowns, there's something beautiful to be found in the shadows this music was made in. To throw out another comparison, there's a band called Pale Waves whose debut album was one of my favorites two years ago. They were also melancholic rock with plenty of synth overtones, and "Diamonds" sits with it as a yin and yang. Pale Waves was pop melancholy, while The Birthday Massacre is melancholy pop. Trust me, there is a distinction there.

What makes The Birthday Massacre so interesting is Chibi's voice, which is an ethereal whisper where the music would be pointing us towards a deep Gothic warble. When she sings, "it's like a car crash burning at the edge of the earth", the line isn't a sinister description of grief, but more of an angelic observation about the callousness of life. Also like Pale Waves, there's an emotional detachment to the vocals that is a deliberate way of manipulating the audience. It's the very lack of emotion in the performance that gives it an emotional impact. It's very clever, and not easy to pull off. With lesser songs, it would manifest as boredom.

Even though "Run" and "Flashback" feature swells of heavy guitars, "Diamonds" is at its heart a subtle album. The intrigue lies in the details, whether it's the way the drum hits echo in the space between the notes, or the vocal lines that only start to seep in after you hear them a couple of times. Given a bit of time, the record reveals itself to be quite charming, beckoning us to join their mad tea party.

What I can say about this record that might mean more than anything else is this; I am not a fan of synth-laden music, and yet I find myself rather drawn to this album. There is a pull to these songs that I can't quite describe, or avoid. "Diamonds" is quite the gem.

Album Review: Hallas - Conundrum

There's a fine line between being inspired by the past and ripping it off. One is embracing a style of music that spoke to you the way modern trends can't, and the other is a cheap and lazy way of showing you have no creativity of your own. Where do we draw that line? In one place, we draw it when you start wearing capes. Hallas do that in the music video that accompanies the first single from this album, and the appropriation of everything 70s is so obvious, so gimmicky, and so cheap, I can't take them seriously. Wanting to sound more organic is fine, but wholesale copying the entire look and sound of a time before you were even born is pandering to an audience you know is older than you. The capes not only look stupid, they're a big, neon-lit sign saying, "Look how retro we are! Remember this stuff?!"

Needless to say, after seeing that, I was not exactly brimming with enthusiasm to listen to what else Hallas came up with. I got in trouble for saying this, but their nostalgia trip is meaningless to me, since you can't be nostalgic for something you never experienced the first time.

The best bands of this ilk are the ones that take the organic production of the old days, and do something new with them. This is where I once again invoke Graveyard, who have a similarly vintage vibe, but never once in their songwriting do they so obviously point backwards. Everything about Hallas, however, is firmly dedicated to saying the 70s were better than today. Whether it's the drum echo they put on the hits in the spacey bits of "Beyond Night And Day" that are right from the beginning of the 80s reverb morass, or the synths that can't be described as anything but 'wizard rock', Hallas is engaging in musical cos-play.

But that's not all. They also have adopted the attitude of 70s prog, where they feel that long passages of synth notes constitute strong songwriting. Both the vocals and the guitars are entirely bland and forgettable, leaving atmospherics as the driving force of the songs. That leaves the music in a precarious position, sounding like it must look to see through a cataract. The music is hazy, lazy, and unfocused. It flows with a pleasant enough sound, at least until you realize they aren't giving you anything to listen to. I have the same issue with a lot of classic rock, wherein the bands who were trying new sounds and pushing boundaries weren't always writing great songs, because the newness was enough for a lot of listeners. Hallas doesn't have that luxury, so their boring songs are just boring.

And considering that the last three tracks are all between seven and nine minutes, with another a few second away from six, it's a lot of time to be wondering if and when Hallas has anything to say. It's one thing to take from the past, another to steal from the past, but as is true in most cases, all can be forgiven if you do it well enough. Hallas doesn't. This album is chock full of boring songs that don't have power, melody, or even interesting twists and turns. It is a cookie-cutter reproduction of 70s synth prog, and like all reproductions, it's essentially worthless. The only conundrum here is why they put in the time and effort to make this record.