The Worst/Most Disappointing Albums Of 2023

If I am starting from the position that this was a bad year, then that means the bad music of a bad year must be even worse than usual, right? Actually, no. There was bad music, and some of it was truly terrible, but there was no more bad music than any other year. There might have been more truly disappointing ones, but that's a different case, and it's why I separate the two out when I make this list every year.

So let's start with the worst of the worst.

The Bad:

1. Avenged Sevenfold - Life Is But A Dream

I heard people praise this record, and it makes me think about that phrase, 'alternative facts'. I listened to this record, and I came away from it not even understanding if the band was trying to make an album. It sounded to me like a collection of ideas the band put in chronological order, with them thinking it was somehow clever to present riffs as they came up with them. This record is not clever, or well-written, or any good at all. In fact, I'm going to say there isn't much in the way of actual songwriting to be found here. The band glued pieces of trash together to form 'found art', and we're left wondering if putting a toilet in the middle of an empty room counts as an artistic statement. I say no, it's just fittingly called crap.

2. Primal Fear - "Cancel Culture"

I think this is a first, but I'm going to single out one song from Primal Fear. "Cancel Culture" pissed me off, and is some of the worst political analysis I've ever heard from musicians. Yes, that's really saying something. So why is it so bad? It isn't because I disagree with their take on whether people should be allowed to say anything they want with no repercussions, but rather because they declare that an audience deciding they don't want to support someone because of what they say is "the death of democracy". Believe what you want, but the people using their voice and wallet to support who they want is the very definition of democracy. Primal Fear sound like butt-hurt whiners who believe they are entitled to our money and attention, no matter what they say. Sorry, but no. That's not how any of this works.

3. Virgin Steele - The Passion Of Dionysus

I'm not going to waste much time on this one. Let's just boil it down to a couple of sentences and say this record is beyond amateurish. It's poorly written, and even more poorly recorded. The instruments sound like a 1980's synth played everything, the mix has no shine on it at all, and the vocals make me question if David Defeis still has a working larynx. It's just so cheap and pathetic.

4. Sermon - Of Golden Verse

Speaking of pathetic, this anonymous band is a good example of why some bands use that gimmick. I wouldn't want to put my name on this record either, as it spends forty minutes dirging its way through sound that contains nothing resembling a good song. It was pitched as being something grandiose and important, but that's a misspelling. It's actually impotent. Very much so.

5. Paramore - This Is Why

That sounds like the answer to a question no one asked. I certainly didn't, and I wish I could forget everything they're saying. Look, I don't mind that Paramore went in a more pop direction. I wasn't enough of a fan to be bothered by that, but they could at least do it well. This isn't well done, as Hayley writes some of the most monotonous, repetitive, and asinine lyrics and melodies. It's more annoying than catchy, and when she advises we tune out of current events, it feels incongruous with the fact that tuning out is how we go backwards and lose the progress the world has made.

The Disappointing:

1. Creeper - Sanguivore

This record made me even more angry than the actual worst one of the year. Why? Not only did I love the first two Creeper records, but this album being a vampire love story dedicated to Jim Steinman is exactly the sort of thing I should eat up. Unfortunately, after a fittingly wonderful opener, the band segues into bland and tuneless 80s goth rock. Not Gothic, but goth. They have shown me they are actors who take on a different role for every album, and this time they made their 'Waterworld' style dud. It not only offends me as a Steinman fan, and as a music fan, but it makes me reassess their earlier works, since now I don't know if they ever gave a damn about those either. Who the fuck even are Creeper?

2. Spanish Love Songs - No Joy

Critical consensus pushed me to "Brave Faces, Everyone", and for good reason. That record was a powerful emo statement, and delivered pain, catharsis, and damn good songs. So on this record... they go 80s? I don't get the shift in style at all, as the power of their music is replaced by wimpier guitars, twinkling synths, and songs written to sit in the weak and warbling part of the vocal range. I hoped the first single was just a joke about how hard it is to follow up a great record, but it wasn't. They fell into the trap, and it snapped right through the bone. And they called the record "No Joy", on top of it all. Could they at least make me work for the insult? This one was so easy it was actually sad.

3. Neal Morse - The Dreamer: Joseph Pt I

I haven't seen eye-to-eye with Neal's music in a while, but I thought maybe throwing himself into another religious project would re-ignite his fire. Nope. This is another long concept album filled with Neal's second-rate material that makes me pine for the days when he could make me sit through twenty-minute prog epics just to hear one killer melody. There isn't a single one on this record that matches anything from his best days, and at this point it's just sad to hear how far we have drifted from each other. Also; Who decides to make a two-part concept album (Yes, there is a second part of this coming soon that could wind up on next year's list) that tells the same story as the already wildly successful "Joseph & The Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat"? This is never going to replace that, so it feels like a waste of time.

4. Motive Black - Autumn

I loved Motive Black's first single. But thanks to COVID, it took three years before their full record came out. When it did, it was mostly old songs from the singer's previous band re-done, and none of those songs were any good. This is why I don't often like when bands do nothing but release singles. One song here and there isn't enough to know whether or not we mesh. I wasted far too much time waiting for a record on the false hope of one song. If they had put it out sooner, I could have thrown them into my mental trash bin so much earlier and moved on to better things.

5. Foo Fighters - But Here We Are

I'm not going to say that they shouldn't have made an album so soon after the unpleasantness. I might be thinking it, but I won't actually say it. What I will say is that for this sounding more like a classic Foos record than anything in many years, it also sounds like a hollow version of that sound. The melodies aren't great, the one song drones on too long without doing anything, but mostly it just sounds like the band doesn't have it in them to rock right now. That leaves the record feeling rather tired and flimsy. I would have expected them to either go heavy on emotion, or heavy on anger, and this feels like it has neither. It's the most passionless record about personal tragedy I may have ever heard. What a shame.